This question was posed to me by Brooke Castillo. Or rather, it felt like she was talking directly to me. I was listening to Episode #231 of The Life Coach School Podcast, and this question was the topic.
It was about a week before my birthday, and I was already looking forward to an exciting year ahead of me. With many ideas swirling in my head about how I want my next year to look, this topic showed up at the right time. It also confirmed much of the work I had been doing over the last year to shift my brain “pre-sets” so that I wouldn’t hold myself back from who I want to become.
A little history on me: I have always been shy and introverted. I have never felt comfortable putting myself out there to be seen. I have always lacked self-confidence but hid it in the form of “being realistic” about what was possible in my life. For example, I would say I could never get a good job outside retail because I never learned the skills to do anything else. (Not negative, not lacking confidence, simply being “realistic....”)
Over the last year, I spent a lot of time learning to recognize thought patterns that held me back. We all have thought patterns. Think of them like a path that was long ago worn through the woods; no sense in walking though knee-high brush when we could just take the path we always take. I mean, lets face it, the worn path is way easier! But maybe if we started forging a new path, we could get to our destination faster, and maybe even find more beautiful scenery on the way.... Would putting in the hard work up front be worth it if it got easier each time we walked our new path?
So I set in to put in the hard work. When my inner dialogue started in, I learned to quickly shift it to a positive thought to change the energy of the thought pattern. It actually turned into a fun challenge—always searching for ways to spin things and see the positive when I might normally have gone right to the negative and talked myself out of what ever I was trying to accomplish.
As I got better at this, possibilities for my future seemed to open up and actually feel real. I actually am smart enough to learn to run my own business; I can set up my own website with virtually zero technical know-how; I can create a sustainable income for myself and my family.
All this is true now, because I actually do believe it! I have learned that I don’t need to take to heart other people’s opinions on what I can and can’t do. Most importantly, I don’t need to take to heart my own negative inner dialogue that might still creep in from time to time.
So, Who am I becoming?
- A confident #girlpreneur
- A successful jewelry designer with a thriving business
- A woman who is able to circulate her wealth by giving back to her community
In her podcast, Brooke talks about what it means to be your authentic self. Most people base the idea of authenticity on who they have demonstrated themselves to be in the past. But if this is what it means to be authentic, then by definition, we can't change and grow and still be authentic. She believes that true authenticity comes from acknowledging Who you want to Become, and acting on it. Just because your family have always seen you as a slacker, doesn't mean that today you can't start following through on your word. Just because your friend has always gone for bad-news guys, doesn't mean from now on she will decide she only has meaningful relationships. Do you understand the point? Who we were yesterday or last month or five years ago, doesn't have to be who we are tomorrow. It just takes us making the conscious decision and believing we already are changed.
And now I would like to ask you to consider the same question:
Who are You becoming?
Let's be partners in this--I don't want to grow alone! As fellow jewelry designer Melissa Camelleri says: #WeRiseByLiftingOthers. So, let me know in the comments below who it is YOU are becoming, and where you need support! Lets all support each other by offering kind words, thoughts and insights to those who need it!
**Looking for some stones to support you in your growth? Rose Quartz is one of my favorites for creating the self-love and nurturing you need when going through any growth process. Try Carnelian for summoning the courage it takes to change. Shop Rose Quartz here!
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